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Begin with the end: what is your goal and is coaching right for you? What is coaching and what can it do for you? What coaching is not and what to expect? Am I the right coach for you?
This part of the coaching process is called contracting. It is an essential part in which we define together the space, both physical and mental, in which the sessions will take place. In this space we define our relationship and we clarify why we are here and which are our responsibilities and accountabilities. In this way, we both understand about what and how the coaching relationship will progress and avoid misunderstanding for a more effective session.
Contracting is like an alliance where I will manage the process, knowing the method and the approach, while you will be actively contributing to its development, review and evaluation along the way. Without any of us, the coaching process cannot happen, like a cart without a wheel cannot roll.
You may be worried about showing your emotions to a stranger, or scared about what will be uncovered during the session. That’s totally fine, just put it into your requests as I will do with mine. Only when we will be both satisfied and committed, we will be able to start. And if something new will arise along the way, it will be fine to re-contract at any time. Coaching is thinking process to help you achieve a result important to you. We are here for you and it can be both emotional and challenging.
As you can feel, coaching is all about our relationship. If we are unable to establish a strong, confidential and embracing relationship, the transformational process will not happen.
Coaching happens when coach and coachee’s boundaries cross over. But where a boundary is broken, there is also a heightened vulnerability. That’s why we need to define well the space, to avoid misunderstanding, to create trust and to let the magic happen.
That’s why we book a chemistry session, a meeting to discuss wants and needs, so that both parties can agree on whether there is compatibility between them. And if not, it’s ok! I will recommend other coaches that might be a better fit for your personality, as easy as that!
Challenges when Internal coaching (to my colleagues, friends and family)
Confidentiality
One of the main challenges when I coach internally is building trust that whatever will be discussed will remain confidential. It is natural to feel uncomfortable and insecure. The doubt that something will be told to your line managers is understandable. Especially in the work environment, it is very likely that there are things you don't feel like sharing. Well, I will do my best to win your trust! I am a professional coach and my reputation comes above everything, therefore remember: Confidentiality is confidentiality! With the exception of a coachee’s disclosure relating to illegal activities and/or harm to themselves or others, the coach (me) will maintain confidentiality.
How will I do this? I will be very clear with your line manager: the company is investing on the staff's development through coaching, and this can only happen when there is trust. Nothing will be disclosed unless requested by the coachee.
Boundaries
Another challenge of internal/friends coaching is to define the boundaries of coaching. Firstly, I am as of today, a Practising Coach, Higher Apprenticeship student on the Professional Coaching (Level 5) Apprenticeship Standard at BPP University. I can help people to find solutions and develop opportunities, but I am certainly not a guru (yet!).
Secondly, a coaching session is for the benefit of the coachee, hopefully so that their professional performance will improve and benefit the corporation too. It is not to be considered a way to solve issues that fall under the line management duty.
Lastly, I cannot use/disclose information from coaching sessions to help the organization and problem solving. It must be clear that should my mentoring skills be needed, a separate session will have to be arranged and information must emerge there in order to be used.
Matching
By knowing the system and people who you may refer to during session, this may create some level of ‘noise’ in my own mind and/or trigger emotional reactions. I will do my best to control these and I will make sure to disclose these to you, re-contracting and refer to a different coach if needed, in your best interest.
Cancelations
Being internal sessions, there is no monetary penalty should you not attend a session. On the other side, if you value these sessions for the results they bring to your life, you might want to consider that any session lost will not necessarily be offered again. How can we best work together so that you can benefit the most from me? What will you do to commit yourself to our appointments? What can I do to help you be punctual and not miss your session?
Time management: the impact of poor time management on my development as coach and on my coachees: reflection
Here are some points I send to my coachees:
From my perspective, as a coach I will:
• Give you my 100% attention during our coaching sessions
• Be committed to meetings made
• Respect confidentiality within boundaries agreed
• Support you in finding answers for yourself
• Help you to identify your key goals
• Explore options with you to achieve your goals
• Support you to fully commit to what you want and take action
• Encourage the giving and receiving of feedback between us.
As a Coachee I ask that you:
• Take 100% responsibility for your own learning
• Be honest and open in our coaching conversations
• Be committed to our sessions and the actions agreed
• Be open minded and experimental
• Recognise change takes place outside your comfort zone
• Share feedback of your experiences with me and your coach sponsors
• Reflect on what you are learning about yourself.
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